Letters to Our Children: January 2014

Grace,

As I write this letter, you are curled up on the sofa in your dad's arms, believing there is no better place to be. I want to take this opportunity to talk to you about your dad. I'm guessing that, by the time you read this letter, you will be able to name a few times when the two of you had the kind of passionate disagreements that can only exist between a father and his daughter.

I first met your dad when we were in high school. I remember getting handwritten notes from him in the hallway, cheering him on at football games every Friday night, and getting butterflies any time he reached out to hold my hand.

Years later, I remember riding in the car with him to visit the lot of our soon-to-be first home. He talked nonstop on that trip in his old black Jetta (if you get the chance, ask him about the $20 bill he dropped inside the door frame at a Taco Bell drive-through. I'm assuming it is still a sore spot!). When we arrived, he stood back as I walked, confused, toward the bouquet of  flowers leaning against the "lot sold" sign...the bouquet that contained the card reading, "Will you marry me?".  As long as I live, I'll never forget the look on his face when I turned around to look at him after reading that card.

Just a few short years after that, we were again riding in that old Jetta together when a song entitled, "All American Girl" came on the radio. Some of the lyrics speak of a little girl and her relationship with her father. Your dad looked at me and said, "I have a feeling this is going to be our theme song very soon."  Why? Because I was pregnant with you. We hadn't yet learned your gender, but your dad somehow knew.

There have been countless happy times in our life together, and a few heartbreaking ones as well.  Your dad lost his mother to cancer the year before we were engaged. Though he has never said the words aloud, I know he was forever changed by her passing.

If there is one thing you should know by now, it is that your dad is extremely hard working and extremely dedicated. It is not uncommon for him to put in very long days at the office, only to head to a committee meeting of some sort in the evening, stumble home to kiss you goodnight, and then do the same thing again the next day. Everyday, when he gets up and puts all he has into his work, it is because he wants to contribute to our family- to give us the comforts in life he feels we deserve.

He is a man who loves his family deeply, but also someone who has great expectations for the people he loves. He wants great things from both of us, Grace. Sometimes, it might feel like he is being hard on you, but please know that comes from a place of love. I know, with all of my heart, that he will love you and will always be proud of you. He just needs to know that you are giving your all to whatever it is you decide to do.

My wish for the two of you is that you always look to each other with the pure adoration I see today. May you always be on the same team, and may you always find the same comfort in his presence that you do at this very moment.

All my love.

As a mother and a photographer, I have been fortunate to find myself in the company of other moms and photographers who speak my language. I have found a community of women who feel deeply for their children, and strive to hold on to every moment with their cameras. We are from all corners of the world, but we all feel the same love. It is with some of these very women that I have taken on a personal project: Letters to Our Children.  Please continue to Jennifer's blog (from Jennifer Smay Photography) to read her beautiful letter.